The End of an Era

Yesterday marks the end of an era...not to be too overly dramatic or anything! I coached the last soccer games of this spring season and of this current "era" of soccer in my life. When the next soccer season comes around in a month, I won't be a part of it as we've decided to make a big & major change for our family by having me stay home with Tyler and Baby H #2 after his or her arrival in July.

I say it's the end of an era because literally since I was 5, my life's calendar and subsequently- my life- has revolved around the soccer seasons. I am overjoyed to imagine what nights and weekends and falls and springs might have in store for our family. I am also simultaneously scared of all of that T.I.M.E.

It is bittersweet to walk away from coaching, as it really has been exactly what I dreamed it would be- creating relationships and connecting with players through a sport that I love, learning just as much (if not more) from all of them as I hope I have taught. In turn though, I will get to make Kevin and Tyler and Baby H #2 my priority for the next "era" of my life.

Since we announced to the club that I wouldn't be returning, I have received many responses from parents. Congratulations was said most often (which caught me off guard as I didn't realize making the choice to stay home was a "congrats" type moment until it started coming repeatedly) as well as "you won't regret it" and "the time when they are little goes so fast." I KNOW deep in my heart that I won't regret it although some days (like yesterday...coaching my last games) are harder than others. I also KNOW how fast the time goes every time I look at Tyler- who I can remember holding in my arms as a tiny newborn and now when I see him rapidly approaching 2, I wonder where 2 whole years went.

Actually, 2 years probably went faster because I was gone a lot! The timing for this change is impeccable too because just yesterday when I called Kevin in between games, Tyler was in the background saying "Mommy. Home. Mommy. Home." to which I had to respond, "No, mommy is working and not coming home yet." (insert fighting back tears here)  He's just getting old enough to really get it. Obviously, I know there will be times I'll be away (and I'll WANT to be away) but I hope my heart feels a little less torn between two worlds during those times.

But my biggest hope, thinking ahead to what life will be like, is that we will get to be the family we have dreamed we want to be! And that makes the "end of the era" actually just the start of a brand new one.